Owhh this is not good. It is not nice to hear somebody talking in this way - it pulls ME down too.
I'd like to take this opportunity to send you a virtual smilie hug because I think we all need a hug from time to time. Please tell us or somebody you trust your problems in more detail, so that you can feel better. It's not fun being depressed, and I'm sure we'd all like to help you get through this tough time.

Hello,

I was about your age maybe a little older when I started to feel depressed.  I'm 48 now and have recently stopped taking antidepressants.  I am feeling pretty good and I've learned how to cope with depression.  Sometimes it's as simple as indulging myself and sometimes its a real push to keep going.  It has taken a lot of hard emotional work and professional support for me to get to this point.  I highly recommend that you find a professional, either a counselor with experience dealing with depression, a psychologist or maybe even a psychiatrist.  You need to talk to someone and educate yourself about depression, grieving, meeting  your needs, and so much more.  You will feel empowered if you can take charge of your own health.  There really is a lot to hope for in your life, you are only 18 please take charge of yourself and find someone to educate, guide and support you!

it seems that females always become a little more depressed when there is a lack of a relationship or decent relationship. i however feel less depressed when im in company of friends( real one- that care about you- not use you). right now one of my friends is going through some things and is litterally MIA, & the  other isnt quite a friend when ever she is ina relationship, so i have a lack of comfort in my life. so im on mission to find a replacement friend(s), i know some may say thats wrong, but i cant remember ever being sad or depressed when ever i have strong friendships in my life. & as far as the whole relationship thing, i find it easier to enjoy the company of my self, who needs a man, they eventually fuck up & hurt us in the long haul. it easy to be by your self with friends for company/ & porn & a vibrator for a intimate fix. I also notice that chocalate helps & so do ciggarettes- i personally prefer mini cigars such as black & milds.  when ever i smoke everthing erases away momnetarily- but sometimes all you need is for a momnet not to think about all the bad stuff & sorrow, for me it's a lilttle break away from reality.

i hope i was some help
                                   maybe you can respond & let me know